The Book Endz Cafe
Men's Health-The Bottom Line!
Septic Tank Odors
Tip: add white vinegar to the toilet
Heavy noxious gases occur in any septic/sewer system. These gases can settle in a particular area and stay there.
Make sure the inspection pipe on your septic tank has a lid. If it isnt missing a lid, the gas may be coming from vent pipes on you roof.
You can put an activated carbon filter on any suspect vent stacks, the replaceable carbon filters lasts 3 to 5 yrs.
Any ideas, comment below!
Depression & Men---It Starts with the Mind!
Male depression is a serious medical condition, whereas many men ignore it and refuse treatment. Irritability, isolation, and withdrawal are a few of the signs that go unnoticed.
Most exhibit unhealthy coping strategies and think those around them dont notice it. They may work excessively, consume too much alcohol (women too) to numb the pain. Depression affects men and women differently. When it occurs in men, it is masked with unhealthy coping behaviors. Male depression often goes undiagnosed and can have major, negative, and life threatening consequences if left untreated.
Factors in the difference in Men and Women include:
Men usually feel sad, hopeless, empty, and extremely tired with difficulty in sleeping and they dont get the pleasure out of things they usually enjoy; they often overcompensate with meaningless sex, creating more problems... other signs/symptoms include:
These sign and symptoms can overlap with other underlying mental issues. Seek professional help, there is nothing to be ashamed of, to get an accurate diagnosis and get what you need to be mentally healthy; see what forms of treatment works best for you along with natural therapies.
More unrecognized symptoms include:
Call 1-800-273-8255 if you experience thoughts of suicide and get help!
Jealousy & Envy
There is a new way of framing and understanding our sources of human interactions and behaviors known as Spiral Dynamics. It assists in mastering values, leadership, and change. It's an "awareness" without form or shape--a shift in perspective.
The battle of the "wills" (volition) takes place in the unknown realms, fighting for its terrritory; the simple feeling of "being," see: Ontology. Dreams are powerful attractors of the forces of life.
The Conflict of Envy:
Delusion and anger shape a person's psychological reality. It is a reality that belongs to the specific person. Problems, mental afflictions, disturbances, anxiety, and unhappiness are all choices we make with different points of view. What works for some doesn't work for others, no one size fits all approach, and what makes one angry/happy may not apply to another. Its all about perspective--glass half empty or half full.
A negative, unhealthy, habitual mind encompasses these afflictions and distortions, altering one's perception; it disturbs the equalibrium of the mind. The key/goal is to seek balance and resolution if you so choose to; natural medicine can assist in this process (shebossy alternative medicine will provide remedies/therapies for these types of issues).
Schemas are powerful sets of negative thoughts, feelings, and is abject. Consider three elements:
Consider your sources, the need to be addressed here is balance and resolution, the process in solving problems is in fulfilling an unmet need.
Disenchantment is the disappointment by someone/something previously respected or admired; disillusioned.
The "thorn" in our side, spiritually speaking, is the thing attached to us to keep us humble. It is an insecurity we are to spar with to build strength and stamina; the fight to be free and whole. What humbles us, keeps us from thinking more highly about ourselves than we ought. We get to observe the spot where it hurts, whether we admit it or not. It's areas that are not yet healed; it's the ultimate opportunity to give God His glory versus attempting to take credit for ourselves, whether we choose to believe that or not.
The "thorn" teaches us how to stand, even when it hurts, even if we have to go in with a limp. Our strengths are made perfect in weakness; it ushers us into our destiny, in right standing, not in a position of pride, which will eventually fall. We can go on to the next thing or stay put, in a state of arrested development, but don't drag others down with you, love them enough to let them go if you have to.
An antagonist is a person who actively opposes or is hostile, passive-aggressive, aggressive-aggressive towards someone or something; an adversary.
Oppositional and Conduct Disorders:
Opposition/Defiant Disorder, one of the oppositional disorders that encompasses a variety of defiant and negative behaviors. When the behavior is more extreme, sometimes dangerous, it involves aggression, which is said to be the result of conduct disorder. Conduct disorders are characterized by defiance, disobedience, and hostility. The bad-boy/bad-girl syndrome may be the result of behavior created by the condition rather than choosing to be bad. Conduct disorder goes unaddressed and is thought to be the precursor to antisocial personality disorder (sociopathy).
A co-existing condition, most common mental health disorders that most suffer include major depression, bipolar disorder, dysthymia (mild, long-term depression), and substance abuse. Dysthymia is a chronic depressed mood disturbance that fits certain clinical criteria for depression. It is characterized by depressed mood, lethargy, pessimism, isolation, and detachment. Other co-morbid conditions include anxiety disorders, personality disorders, antisocial behavior, and learning disabilities (dyslexia and auditory processing deficits), (Scattered Minds, Lenard Adler, M.D. with Mari Florence, 2006).
Antisocial: hostile, harmful to organized society, marked by behavior deviating sharply from the social norms; it is a personality disorder predisposed to criminality, where lack of remorse resides. It is difficult to diagnose and often times confused with drug abuse.
Excessive Attention Seeking
Emotional blackmail is to infringe upon one's right to be emotionally free. All humans require some level of attention and getting attention is necessary for life's vital enterprises and can be the difference between life and death. The Pareto Principle provides that 80% of the effects come from 20% of the causes (80-20 rule). Not getting adequate attention, especially as a child can threaten the quality and sustainability of life. Children need it for growth and development and if it continues to go unfulfilled, it carries over into adulthood.
In infant and early childhood development, the brain's wiring responds to the trauma of neglect. Extreme attention seekers go to unhealthy lengths that are driven by emotional desperation. Excessive attention seeking is not a character flaw, it is a post traumatic, knee jerk reaction to the lack of proper care taking in childhood. The developing brain observes its environment and wires itself to "survival" modes and "defense mechanisms."
Hypothalamic Remodeling is one of the consequences of neglect. The hypothalamus is smaller and has fewer receptors for serotonin and other neurochemicals. Drama gets attention and it stands out. It causes the pituitary glands and hypothalamus to secrete endorphins, which are pain suppressing and pleasure inducing compounds (which heroin and opium mimic-explains many drug addictions).
The drama eases the anxiety of wanting more attention than one is getting. Drama uses the same "mechanisms" in the brain as opiates, people easily become addicted to drama. Like any addiction, you build up a tolerance that continuously requires more, so you can get the same neurological effect. This type of person needs more and more crisis to get the small thrill, where drama as a drug feels good and rewarding...(psychologytoday.com/Excessive Attention Seeking and Drama Addiction, Bill Gordon, PhD, Nov. 5, 2015).
The Single White, Black, Other Female Syndrome
Treat yourself as good as you want to be treated; it will attract the right one eventually even if you have to kiss a few frogs along the way before you find your Prince. Don't let anyone define you, unleash your sexy and do YOU!
Perfectionism stops us from completing some necessary tasks and at times hinders us from beginning the work. A good example is analysis paralysis. We decide in advance that the end result is not going to be satisfactory, so sometimes we don't bother to be creative in the first place.
Perfectionism disguises itself as virtue and as if it signals haute taste and exquisite standards. One could dare to think that it is a haute couture version of fear and procrastination; underneath the shiny veneer, it is a deep existential angst that says who I am and what I do is never good enough; we must break the viscous cycle of perfectionism and finish the tasks at hand.
The Emotional Disconnect
Morality- a manner, character, proper behavior and the distinction between right and wrong.
Integrity is doing what is right because it is right. We all at some point get caught up in what we think is right/wrong which leads to blame games and lack of personal responsibility; the fingers always point back. Is deviance a pathological behavioral pattern? Criminals are evolutionary throwbacks to earlier stages of development. The Theory of Differential Association provides interactive learning aspects of becoming deviant, i.e., a learned behavior.
Functionalism serves a purpose/need for function. Darwin's Theory of Natural Selection in biology is the foundation for functional perspectives on deviance in society. Opposition Defiance Disorder (ODD) is the differentiation of intentions, decisions, and actions between those that are distinguished as proper vs. improper. It is marked by defiant and disobedient behaviors towards authority figures. Defiance denotes consistent lying, cheating, stealing, and manipulating circumstances and can lead to substance abuse; also, virtual addictions such as excessive online activity, video games and social media. Narcissism has a baseline of extremely controlling actions and complete self absorption.
Integrate an approach to manage positive interactions with use of sensory motor training and stimulation, cognitive activities along with nutritional/dietary guidelines; the key is "brain balance." http://Brainbalancecenters.com http://Mayoclinic.com
Bullying is repeated aggressive behavior intended to hurt another psychologically or physically. It is characterized by behaving in a certain way to gain an advantage or control over a weaker person. The individual recruits lieutenants whom are willing to assist in the bullying activities and they are usually peer groups who promote/instigate the bully's actions by destroying peer acceptance and friendships, known as "exclusion."
The bully holds an authoritarian personality with a strong need to control and dominate. It is employed consciously/unconsciously and done as a result of selfishly rationalized notions of its appropriation, utility, and self empowerment. From coercion to abuse, they intimidate or aggressively dominate others, usually towards a particular target, known as their "narcissistic supply."
They harass the weak to compensate for some sick need for validation at the expense of someone's volition. Some bullies are arrogant and narcissistic where they hide behind this behavior to conceal their own shame/anxiety and/or to boost their own self-esteem and hidden agendas, while belittling others; in this, the abuser (bully) feels empowered and feeds off of this addictive energy.
Bullies are emotionally unstable with insecure attachments with family, peers, and hold ineffective discipline to environmental factors, not just social. Some are psychologically strong and have high social standing amongst peers or at least they desire it, and if not, it could breed jealousy and envy towards their targets, increasing the intensity level.
The indignant bully thinks more highly of him/herself than he/she ought (pride), then frequently become easily offended by the criticisms, non-acceptance (they hate to be ignored), and lack of deference. They react to this as a form of disrespect with underlying tendencies of violence. Once it gets into the stage of threatening or insinuating a threat, it has gone past competition, to becoming even more aggressively/violently dominant, where the line is drawn between social/physical power and conflict.
The motives of the bully are envy and resentment, with a tremendous level of low self-esteem along with fragile and inflated egos, which causes them to become offended and indignant. It is because they seek for their behaviours to be justified, excused, and validated, so when it becomes invalidated and ineffective, he/she acts out all the more.
In conclusion, it is the bully's ability to create the illusion that he/she has the "support" of the majority--which is designed to instill fear of "speaking out." Unless the bully mentality is effectively challenged at the onset or in its early stages, it becomes an accepted norm within the group and the victims internalize the abuse, which leads to countless suicides; I advocate for myself and my daughter on anti-bullying and it is very effective when it is tackled head on, speak up, it could save many lives!