The Book Endz Cafe
Men's Health-The Bottom Line!
Excessive Attention Seeking
Emotional blackmail is to infringe upon one's right to be emotionally free. All humans require some level of attention and getting attention is necessary for life's vital enterprises and can be the difference between life and death. The Pareto Principle provides that 80% of the effects come from 20% of the causes (80-20 rule). Not getting adequate attention, especially as a child can threaten the quality and sustainability of life. Children need it for growth and development and if it continues to go unfulfilled, it carries over into adulthood.
In infant and early childhood development, the brain's wiring responds to the trauma of neglect. Extreme attention seekers go to unhealthy lengths that are driven by emotional desperation. Excessive attention seeking is not a character flaw, it is a post traumatic, knee jerk reaction to the lack of proper care taking in childhood. The developing brain observes its environment and wires itself to "survival" modes and "defense mechanisms."
Hypothalamic Remodeling is one of the consequences of neglect. The hypothalamus is smaller and has fewer receptors for serotonin and other neurochemicals. Drama gets attention and it stands out. It causes the pituitary glands and hypothalamus to secrete endorphins, which are pain suppressing and pleasure inducing compounds (which heroin and opium mimic-explains many drug addictions).
The drama eases the anxiety of wanting more attention than one is getting. Drama uses the same "mechanisms" in the brain as opiates, people easily become addicted to drama. Like any addiction, you build up a tolerance that continuously requires more, so you can get the same neurological effect. This type of person needs more and more crisis to get the small thrill, where drama as a drug feels good and rewarding...(psychologytoday.com/Excessive Attention Seeking and Drama Addiction, Bill Gordon, PhD, Nov. 5, 2015).
The Single White, Black, Other Female Syndrome
Treat yourself as good as you want to be treated; it will attract the right one eventually even if you have to kiss a few frogs along the way before you find your Prince. Don't let anyone define you, unleash your sexy and do YOU!
Perfectionism stops us from completing some necessary tasks and at times hinders us from beginning the work. A good example is analysis paralysis. We decide in advance that the end result is not going to be satisfactory, so sometimes we don't bother to be creative in the first place.
Perfectionism disguises itself as virtue and as if it signals haute taste and exquisite standards. One could dare to think that it is a haute couture version of fear and procrastination; underneath the shiny veneer, it is a deep existential angst that says who I am and what I do is never good enough; we must break the viscous cycle of perfectionism and finish the tasks at hand.
The Emotional Disconnect
Morality- a manner, character, proper behavior and the distinction between right and wrong.
Integrity is doing what is right because it is right. We all at some point get caught up in what we think is right/wrong which leads to blame games and lack of personal responsibility; the fingers always point back. Is deviance a pathological behavioral pattern? Criminals are evolutionary throwbacks to earlier stages of development. The Theory of Differential Association provides interactive learning aspects of becoming deviant, i.e., a learned behavior.
Functionalism serves a purpose/need for function. Darwin's Theory of Natural Selection in biology is the foundation for functional perspectives on deviance in society. Opposition Defiance Disorder (ODD) is the differentiation of intentions, decisions, and actions between those that are distinguished as proper vs. improper. It is marked by defiant and disobedient behaviors towards authority figures. Defiance denotes consistent lying, cheating, stealing, and manipulating circumstances and can lead to substance abuse; also, virtual addictions such as excessive online activity, video games and social media. Narcissism has a baseline of extremely controlling actions and complete self absorption.
Integrate an approach to manage positive interactions with use of sensory motor training and stimulation, cognitive activities along with nutritional/dietary guidelines; the key is "brain balance." http://Brainbalancecenters.com http://Mayoclinic.com