Emotional Intelligence v. Emotional Schemas
The ability to remain and maintain a state of calm is a daily challenge. It has a direct link to performance, for example, about 90% or so of top performers are skilled at managing their emotions under stress; they remain calm and in control for the most part.
Stress can wreak havoc on your physical and mental health. Prolonged stress causes degeneration in the area of the brain responsible for self control; however, stress is a necessary emotion that needs to be managed and balanced.
Our brains are wired in that it is often difficult to "take action" until we feel some level of stress (it is a motivator). Ironically, the onset of stress entices the brain into growing new cells responsible for improved memory. When the stress continues beyond a few moments, into a prolonged state, it suppresses the brain's ability to develop new cells.
Intermittent stressful events keep the brain more alert, as we tend to perform better when we are alert. As the human brain continues to evolve and increase in complexity, we develop the ability to worry and perseverate on events that create frequent experiences of prolonged stress.
It increases the risk of heart disease, depression, obesity, and decreases cognitive (mental) performance. The bulk of our stress is subjective and under our control. Work towards developing coping strategies that work for your stress level.
Put it all together and work at it. This process is not an overnight, microwave way of doing things, it takes, time, work and energy/effort to accomplish short and long term goals of overall health and well-being. It takes effort to promote change---Be the change you want to see and stop judging others! (Entrepreneur.com/"10 Ways Smart People Stay Calm"-Travis Bradberry/Rochelle Payton).
Emotional emptiness leads to an unhealthy dependency on others out of desperation to try to cure loneliness. There is a difference between dependency and infatuation, and it is not rooted in love, but selfishn
Dependent personality types fantasize at the core of the issue rather than facing the reality of what is actually going on inside themselves. They become excited at the prospect of filling the void in their lives and the chemicals in the brain (endorphines) make them feel alive again.
Beware of the dangers of loneliness, it can lead you down a path that you dont know exists, creating more pain and problems, doing more harm than good, work on fixing you, to be a better you to others especially YOURSELF!
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Eustress v. Distress
Social aggression and isolation lead to increased levels of cortisol (stress hormone) and leads to potential mental health problems.
Cortisol is released in response to fear and stress by the adrenal glands as part of the fight/flight mechanism; the general adaptation syndrome.
Eustress and distress release cortisol as part of the general adaptation syndrome. It builds up in the blood and wreaks havoc on the body. Eustress creates the "seize the day," heightened state of arousal, it is invigorating and linked to a tangible goal, whereas distress is free floating anxiety with no outlet for the cortisol; it causes the fight/flight to backfire.
Regular physical activity can recreate the "fight" response to let out aggression and reduce cortisol. Fear increases cortisol and regular activity decreases fear by increasing self confidence, resilience, and fortitude to decrease the cortisol; (psychologytoday.com)
Emotional Intelligence v. Emotional Schemas
Today, I am Living!
Mindfulness: it is paying attention on purpose to what is happening in the present moment, without judging whether it is right/wrong.
It is a collaborative way of working and draws on your listening skills. Control your own emotions so you can "hear" what is going on, (Emotional Intelligence, Dr. David Walton (2012)).
This Caffeinated Culture☕️
The United States is the world's largest consumer of coffee and the caffeine also comes from energy drinks and soda (not good), also dark chocolate. Caffeine stays in your body system longer than you think, which may cause the tossing and turning (insomnia). Drinking caffeine late in the day contributes to this, so cut yourself off earlier. Note: some pain killers contain caffeine, so check the labels...
(Ladies Home Journal/July-Aug 2014)
The Limbic System is a complex system of nerves and networks in the brain. It involves several areas near the edge of the cortex concerned with instinct and mood; it controls basic emotions (fear, pleasure, emotions), and drives (hunger, dominance, care of offspring).
Lavender- studies show that inhaling improves sleep; it may activate the brain's limbic system, which plays a key role in the regulation of mood and emotion
Chamomile Tea- herbal, decaf
Valerian- can interact with medications, including anti-depressants, pain relievers, and anti-seizure drugs; there are risks
Warm Milk- milk contains tryptophan, an amino acid that the body converts to melatonin and the calming brain chemical serotonin
Anything Relaxing- music, quiet time, candle lit evenings, etc... Be Creative!
Yoga improves balance and motor scores (a measure of movement ability). To improve balance leads to other positive changes which builds confidence about socializing outside the home and overall quality of life improves.
Yoga improves "awareness" of balance, it helps with certain body weaknesses, for example, from a stroke. Yoga balances mental, emotional, physical, and spiritual abilities which eventually lead to financial stability.
Money Saving Brunch
Drinks: try a non-alcoholic cranberry/pomegranate juice fizz (add sparkling water or club soda).
Starters-Bread & Cheese: try baguette slices and cheeses such as Gouda, Parmesean, Spicy Cheddar/PepperJack (Murray's Cheese, New York City).
Main Dishes: Eggs are a very least expensive food, make a casserole/frittata add your favorite meats.
Decor: serve cheese wedges on a rustic wooden board, bring your braised meats and pasta dish to the table (pan seared lamb is an excellent choice).
(Real Simple/August 2009)
(EI) Emotional Intelligence embraces a set of mental skills that enable one to know and control his/her own emotions, recognize and effectively respond to emotional states of other people.
Social Change: to be present, you gain the extra flow. Your normal is someone else's exceptional, which shows up in a place that makes no sense.
Speak to what is not working and to what to disconnect from. Turn it into what you had in mind and sometimes you have to look like a fool to get what you want--go back to the bare bones basics.
Conflict between thinking and feeling makes things complicated. It's the struggle between logic and emotion. Real world feelings and instincts are major influences on behavior.