Many of us take pride in controlling the circumstances around us and even beyond us. If we think we might be abandoned, abused, or neglected by others, we label them as the problem and try to manipulate them. We may overly control our mates, children, family members, friends, associates-even people we don't know. Another way to try to control someone is to be overly nice (those are the ones I watch more closely), passive, quiet and when fear or other feelings overwhelm us, we rage, isolate, or allow others to act out our feelings for us.
We become a higher power when we control others to any degree, quietly or aggressively. We may reinforce our control with an attitude of arrogance, authority, judgment, or prejudice. Controlling people value others' beliefs and behaviors as foolish, selfish, or worthless. They establish themselves as in a "better than" position. They think they're way is the only way.
In giving the power, our higher power to other people, we seek their approval, often to the point of abandoning our own needs and desires. We fear those we put into power and dread their anger/disapproval. In essence, we lose our sense of self (or never gain it). We become obsessed with their attitudes and behaviors towards us; never let another person control you and stop trying to control others, it never works for the good in the end, (Co- Dependents Anonymous, First Edition, (1995).